Trash Menagerie

Dir. Glenn Danzig Modern “so-bad-it’s-good” movies are hard to come by in 2019. The market is almost hilariously oversaturated with Direct-to-Streaming crap that’s either expectedly boring and inept, or so winking and ironically self-aware that it becomes painfully cringe inducing. Shielding one's eyes from the screen should be induced by horror or tension, not embarrassment by proxy. The point is that when filmmakers set out with the intention of making a movie that’s “so-bad-it’s good”, they are doomed to failure from the start because they are missing the fundamental point; sincerity and delusion. The joke is not that the filmmakers are playing dumb and trying to make the audience laugh, it’s that they’re not even in on the joke. People don’t like The Room , Birdemic , Troll 2 , Manos , Neil Breen, Ed Wood etc. because they give they represent misunderstood, independent, outsider art; it’s because they find it amusing that the visionaries behind these films set out with b...

Dir. Damien Leone Terrifier feels like if Party City and Monster Energy teamed up to produce a horror movie as quickly as they possibly could. Like they had a checklist consisting of; 1. Creepy Clown and 2. Gore. And nothing else. What little plot there is seems to revolve around the idea of, now wouldn’t it be fucked up if the clown... I get that it’s a slasher movie but it’s so barebones that there’s nothing to enjoy. Ok I’m getting ahead myself. So...plot. Girl 1 and Girl 2 (I can’t remember their names) get out of a Halloween party and run into Creepy Clown. Girl 2’s car tires are slashed so Girl 1 calls her sister (to be referred to from here on as Girl 3) to pick them up. Girl 1 goes into dilapidated building to pee. Creepy Clown begins killing and continues to kill until the end of the movie. Now a movie this devoid of substance can work. But there has to be something to latch onto. Likable characters, interesting visuals, inventive kill scenes. Terrifier...

Dir. Johannes Roberts Do you ever find yourself defending a movie in your own head as you’re watching it because you dearly want it to be better or more enjoyable than it actually is? It’s such a frustrating experience to watch a good movie that just shy of great, or bad movie that’s just shy of being enjoyably bad. In the case of The Strangers: Prey at Night, its a kind-of-ok, but mostly unengaging movie with a couple fun sequences, solid cinematography, and a lot of lazy writing. Now I have never seen The Strangers (2008). It never really interested me, but from what I understand it’s mostly about a whole buncha nothing happening while spooky mask people creep in the background for the benefit of the audience. So when it was announced that we’d be getting a sequel, I gave no shits until the first trailer was released featuring Tiffany’s cover of Tommy James and The Shondells’ I Think We’re Alone Now . If there’s anything I’m a sucker for, it’s slasher style carnage se...