Trash Menagerie

Dir. Matthew Bright The older I get, the more I appreciate going into a film as cold a possible. It’s a fallacy that trailers are more spoilery than they the used to be, especially for low budget/horror/exploitation movies needing to ensure maximum ticket sales. But trailers are more ubiquitous today, available anywhere with a screen and internet access at any given moment. It takes a lot of discipline to steer clear of any trailers, reviews, discussions, etc. that might skew your expectations, not just for contemporary films, but really any film that may have been even just a little popular at any point in film history. Of course this isn’t a good thing or a bad thing (or maybe it’s both a good thing and a bad thing), as an overwhelmingly saturated media landscape constantly battles with our brains for attention and money, time seems to become exponentially more limited, and sometimes you just don’t want to risk wasting it on a movie that you’re not at least likely to maybe...

Dir. Cirio H. Santiago The theme song that plays over the end credits of this film contains the lyric, “they’re vampire hookers and blood is not all they suck,” so that’s the level of tomfoolery we’re dealing with here. And while it doesn’t need to go to the top of your Must Watch List, Vampire Hookers , directed by exploitation juggernaut Cirio H. Santiago, is still a charmingly dopey, if dated, horror-comedy that is smirk inducing and chuckle producing...and a little cringe worthy too. It’s strange. Sociopolitical insensitivity is to be expected in exploitation films usually presenting as women getting raped in service of the plot, women getting naked in service of selling movie tickets, and instances of casual racism. Maybe it’s just from years of desensitization, but these things don’t really phase me anymore when I see them in these kinds of films. While there’s no rape going on in Vampire Hookers , there is a scene where our two leads head into a bar to pick up women, st...

Dir. Jim Mallon The hooks in Blood Hook are pretty much regular sized hooks. And that’s a little disappointing. With a name like “ Blood Hook ”, I was expecting a big hook. Like an almost comically oversized hook. The killer has a big bobber, or maybe it’s a lure (I don’t know shit about fishing) covered in hooks, but the hooks are a pretty standard size, maybe slightly above standard, but certainly nothing to write home about. It’s a little bit of a let down. Though fortunately once you get past that, Blood Hook showcases a fun little twist on the well worn slasher formula with a lot regional charm.   It’s summer 1986 (I assume it’s summer; it’s sunny and people are fishing) and Muskie Madness reigns supreme in a rural Wisconsin town as the locals vie for the biggest catch during the annual fishing festival. Crashing the party is city slicker Peter van Cleese and his Gen X buddies so that they and the locals can make each uncomfortable across the generation gap. Pet...